Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
