doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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