I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
