Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
