She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize
