I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
