you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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