Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
