may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
