Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
