marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
When did we convert life to cartoon?
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
