We're facebook friends in real life
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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