I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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