obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
