Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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