I want to have your abortion
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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