I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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