what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Randomize
