Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
