He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
