Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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