So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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