Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
