I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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