Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I don't want my vagina anymore.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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