shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
okay pat passed out under dana's car
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
