he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
