I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
