Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
