At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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