Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
