marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
