I'm gonna have a badass scar
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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