Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize