there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
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