i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize