I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
