Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize