Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
