I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
