Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Randomize
