Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
It's just like the Real World with babies
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
