I wish i was in the wii world.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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