Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
