she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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