I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
