I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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