good thing vaginas are great cup holders
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
