Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize