I want to have your abortion
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize