You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
