butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
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