i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
