So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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