sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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