these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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