You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
