don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Randomize
