i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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