That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Randomize