woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
And then my night got REAL pukey
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
