I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
i think i just lost a toe
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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