I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
