Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Randomize
