She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize