This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
