Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
