what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
