Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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