Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
