I swear she didn't look like that last week.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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