wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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